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Creepshots

from Creepshots by MC Breath

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $1 USD  or more

     

  • Buy the Full Digital Album

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Are you one of those weirdos who still collects compact discs? Cool! Add to your soon to be RETRO collection with Creepshots! Only 50 of these babies, so get 'em while they hot!! Why CDs? Well, it's too fucking expensive to get vinyl made. CDs are dirt fucking cheap. Why? Because nobody fucking wants them anymore. Except you!!!!

    Comes in a nice light-weight digipak made from mostly recycled materials. Features cool artwork by MC Breath himself!

    I will also throw in a bunch of other stuff. Stickers, possibly a MC Breath Fan Club button (glows in the dark), or whatever I feel like fucking throwing in the envelope.

    You will also get a FREE copy of Mr. Wizard's Woes (while supplies last).

    ORDER NOW!!!!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Creepshots via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.     ... more
    ships out within 1 day
    edition of 50 
    Purchasable with gift card

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lyrics

A man in a trench coat and white leather sneaks
Double bridged bifocals, comb-over with grey streaks
Pencil thin stash, acid wash tapered jeans
Describes the guy currently following me all around Filene's
You can call it women’s intuition, you can call it queer
But I feel his eyes penetrate my inner thighs while I sort through braziers
I tried to flag the cashier down hoping to god that she’d intervene
But you can’t pry a sixteen year old’s face from her fucking Samsung screen
Maybe if I screamed maybe she’d redeem herself but I strongly have my doubts
If I was attacked she’d just snap pics for her goddamn Instagram account
I'm afraid it may amount to this shady maniac mounting an attack
Knocking me on my back with his clammy hand up my crack underneath the discount rack
Which I'm now perusing while this stranger dangers oozing so much sleeziness
As I'm browsing flannel hes channeling his inner Cosby causing me uneasiness
Creepiness is his middle name aiming his camera in my vicinity
His photographic mission is a compromised position from a chick like me

I saw you standing there
In the corner without a care
Upskirt shots of my underwear
Shoot my derriere and hit share
Thought I was all alone
Until I smelled your cheap cologne
And heard your faint orgasmic moan
You and me and your camera phone
Creepshots

Using some clever conniving trickery
Managed to lose the prick taking unsolicited pics of me
Amazed I escaped his male gaze, his crazy eyes, and trouser tent
Hell bent on keeping creep away made it to the ladies shoe department
Pretending to be perusing the fine array of pumps on display
Making sure the coast is clear of all creeps before my final getaway
To my dismay I'm suddenly approached by one of the motherfucking shoe sales clerks
He seats me in a sensibly patterned chair and begins to work
His salesman magic on me while I frantically seek an escape
Would be great to make it through the day without getting stalked or raped
By the creepy photo man who I managed to somehow lose
Who was acting like Ted Bundy but looking more like Ted Cruz
I grab my shoes and kick the jerky sales clerk in his ugly face
Gather my things and spring to the nearest exit out of this place
Racing heartbeat as I spot the creep by the gentlemen’s latrine
Pacing with a problematic protrusion sticking out his jeans

I saw you standing there
In the corner without a care
Upskirt shots of my underwear
Shoot my derriere and hit share
Thought I was all alone
Until I smelled your cheap cologne
And heard your faint orgasmic moan
You and me and your camera phone
Creepshots

I begged the shoe clerk to keep an eye on the loser
So I could call the cops to report this potential abuser
Now a police cruiser is pulling up to the store
Two cops get out and proceed to pummel the creep to the floor
I normally abhor the cops but today they are my heroes
For beating on this sfacim like Robert Deniro in Raging Bull
When he beat the fuck out of Joe Pesci
Cracked the creeps skull then booked the bachagaloop for being sketchy
Now he’s in jail, bye-bye to all that brought him enjoyment
His boss heard the word and promptly terminated his employment
Folks are unfriending him on Facebook and his wife is serving papers
And his kids are now convinced their dad's some sick serial raper

Played a prominent role in ruining this poor bastard's life
When in reality he simply was just waiting for his wife
His orgasmic moans were actually just irritated sighs
And there's no way he was staring with cataracts on his eyes
The protrusion in his pants was literally a roll of pennies
That fell out his pocket while being beat like Reginald Denny
He wasn't really taking creep shots guess I had him all wrong
The cops found nothing on his phone but an open game of Mahjong

credits

from Creepshots, released May 22, 2018

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MC Breath Providence, Rhode Island

15 MC Breath Fans Can't Be Wrong!

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