Baby Breath

by MC Breath

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of America Is A Cunt, Mr. Wizard's Woes, Baby Breath, Slobulus, Yo Mama Wears Combat Boots, The Mysterious Stranger, and Funky Yummy Mummy. , and , .

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about

Baby Breath is a concept album consisting of songs about babyhood, childhood, and early adolescence.

It is MC Breath's fifth album and also features the remarkable musical talents of Philadelphia's Dan Rathernot.

Download for FREE if you like songs about babies, pederasts, maternal filicide, and douchebag talking snowmen.

credits

released October 31, 2014

MC Breath: Drums, Drum Machines, Guitar, Keyboards, Percussion, Vocals, and RAPS!
Dan Rathernot: Bass, Keyboards, Organ, Guitar, Mandolin, Vocals.

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about

MC Breath Providence, Rhode Island

MC Breath is a rapper & producer dude from Providence, Rhode Island making nifty bass-laden musical beats and kooky, clever, wicked retahhded, irreverent rhymes since 1999.

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Track Name: Baby
your red and whitey stripey onesie’s smelling mighty ripey
you tinkled in your diapey and your winky needs a wipey

your pants get pretty shitty and you throw a mini fitty
you suckle wuckle milky wilky from ya mama's titty

you spit up all the milky wilky on ya mama’s blousey
you squeaky weaky like some freaky leaky mickey mousey

you snuggle wuggle in your crib and go to beddy weddy
you make a messy wessy face eating tastey spaghetti

you hiccup when you have a bubble stuck inside your belly
your chubby wubby cheeky weeks look like they’re full of jelly

your stubby wubby limbs look like they’re stuffed with marshamellows
or maybe Jello, lookin like a mini Lou Costello

you goo goo ga ga when your nana tickles on your toesies
singing ring around the rosey pocket full of posies

you smile when you’re happy or I guess you could be gassy
you never have humility or need to keep it classy


when you’re a baby!!!


you crawly wally on the floor until your legs feel ouchy
and when you oughta stop to nappy wappy you get grouchy

you screamy weamy so your daddy takes you out of beddy
but you just fall asleepy weepy on his chest insteady

as you snooze drool pools and drips down daddy’s shirty
and just about everything you touch goes from clean to dirty

you drop your binky winky on the filthy wilthy floory
and on the floor Daddy reads you a Dr. Seusy story

After all the booky wookies in the house have been read
turn on tv, but it’s Barney, so outside we go instead

we go to the parky warky and have a pic-a-nicky
your cup is loosey, spilled your juicy, now you’re icky sticky

and now a colony of ants are marching to our blankey
to contaminate our cantaloupe, making you quite cranky

then ants crawl up my pants, I start to dance, which causes giggles
the entertainment value is more valid than The Wiggles


when you’re a baby!!!


when you're a buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh
buh-buh-buh baby


when you’re a baby!!!
Track Name: Snowman
back in the day when I was a little bastard
years before my friend Lou and I started mastur-

-bating we’d be waiting for the snow to fall
with our hands we’d make a man rolling a small snow ball

then we’d roll it up, roll it up, until it was big
and on the sides of the snowman we would stick two twigs

on his chest charcoal would be used as buttons
on his face we’d paint charcoal dusty mutton

chops, would have been tops to have a top hat for his head
but we had to use a Jolt cola can instead

and pour a little Jolt out for my dead snowmies
that's snowmen plus homies if you didn't know, peas

and carrots in a can, only veg we had
fresh produce abstract thoughts to mom and dad

so we couldn't use a carrot to complete his face
had to use a strawberry twizzler in its place

let’s build a snowman
do you wanna build a snowman?
snowman

with our snowman complete, we were headed back
when all of a sudden the sky went black

and we were frozen in time, as if someone hit pause
on a VCR tape recording of The Cos-

by show, but this was no Huxtable scenario
and there was no Lisa Bonet or Theo

around, just the sound of the sublime snowfall
just my friend Lou and I and that giant snowball

suddenly from the sky fell a magical mist,
then the snowman come to life and he looked pissed

he said, “thanks for the lame ass hat
and the nose you chose makes my frozen face look fat

I demand a carrot and a more presentable lid
and some mittens for my twigs you inconsiderate kids

you boys better build me a snowbitch by the way
by the end of the day or you prepubescent pricks pay!”


let’s build a snowman
do you wanna build a snowman?
snowman

we ran to Lou’s house to ask his dad
for a carrot but a can of creamed corn was all he had

but he gave us a buck to go to Gregory’s mart
plus a Stetson hat and work gloves that smelled like a fart

bought the carrot for the cocksucking entitled twit
whom upon our return continued giving us shit

he said, “this hat makes me look like an inbred yitz
I wanted Freezy Freakies not Caldor mits!

I suggest you get started on my snowbitch, quick
but first find me an icicle to use as a dick!”

we begrudgingly began building his request
he naturally was not satisfied with the size of her breasts

added snow until they became disproportionate mounds
top heavy tits sent her crashing to the ground

it was the straw that broke the camel’s back, so what did we do?
took a snowblower and blew his ass to Timbuktu

let’s build a snowman
do you wanna build a snowman?
snowman
Track Name: Lynn, where are you?
in elementary school at recess time
used to sit on the picnic table with friends of mine

there was Lou who I mentioned in the Snowman song
and a metalhead named JJ with a very long

ponytail, Garbage Pail, no Sour Patch Kids we snacked
knocked those fuckers back like candy coated crack

one day, on the table, sipping Strawberry Crush
we noticed something that made us all collectively blush

it was the most beautiful work of art that we’d ever seen
a highly detailed Sharpie line drawing of an erect penis

with bulging veins up the shaft, and a patch of pubes too
underneath the nuts were the words “Lynn, where are you?”

we sat and pondered for a minute what this masterpiece meant
what was Lynn’s relation to the artist and where she went

when and if Lynn would be coming back was not understood
little did we know the next day Lynn would be gone for good

Lynn, where are you?

the next day JJ showed up with his hair neatly trimmed
Lou wore a tie, I wore Old Spice to smell nice for Lynn

none of us could sleep the night before in anticipation
little did we know we’d come to find artistic castration

some piece of shit painted over Lynn, much to our horror
with a key Lou desperately chipped at the paint to restore her

but no luck, Lynn was fucked, beneath layers of pigment
JJ screamed, Lou blasphemed, I just stood there indignant

wondered who could have been responsible for such desecration
whoever did it didn’t have any art appreciation

the next day at recess we all wore black and reconvened
at the picnic table grave site also known as crime scene

JJ laid some dandelions where the beauty had been
we bowed our heads and Lou played some Chopin on his violin

I am pretty sure the school custodian was to blame
for prematurely flushing all our childhoods down the drain

Lynn, where are you?
Track Name: Rosemary's Baby
Guy and Rosemary move to a new apartment in the city
Guy’s a good lookin strugling actor, Rosemary is very pretty

the landlord shows them around the place, they spot a secretary
dresser blocking a broom closet, which confuses Miss Rosemary

they soon meet their nosy nelly neighbors named Roman and Minnie
always all up in their business, gotta have the latest skinny

in the laundry room Rosemary meets a young lady named Terry
whom Roman and Minnie took in off the streets when she was very

strung out, hung around her neck a pendant she considers lucky
Rosemary thinks it’s beautiful but the tannis root smells yucky

the very next day Terry throws herself out a 7th story
window, and Ro and Guy try to get by cops to see the gory

dead body, makes Rosemary depressed Minnie asks her to supper
Guy sighs, then realizes she could use a picker upper

and Guy hits it off with Roman unaware that he’s from Hades
soon Guy’ll give Ro’ a baby that’s gross scary and shady

Rosemary’s baby is gross, scary, and shady
Rosemary’s baby is gross, scary, and shady

Guy gives up his soul, in exchange for an acting role
Baumgart had the role, now he’s blind like a mole

Guy decides it’s time to start procreating
and he marks the calendar for when Rosemary’s ovulating

but she gets dizzy and passes out on the night they’re to conceive
after eating some of Minnie’s mousse that nearly makes her heave

while unconscious Rosemary dreams she’s being reamed by Satan
when she comes to she comes to find out it was just her husband

soon Doc Sapirstein tells Ro she’s preggers recommends that Minnie
make her a vitamin rich daily drink which makes her sick and skinny

then her friend Hutch comes to visit gets the feeling she’s in trouble
and that evening he insists they get together on the double

so Ro goes to meet Hutch but he never shows, she finds a payphone
some lady picks up, said Hutch is sick, and later by his gravestone

gives Ro Hutch’s book, All of Them Witches, and perhaps that maybe
it foreshadows Ro’s future baby that’s gross scary and shady

Rosemary’s baby is gross, scary, and shady
Rosemary’s baby is gross, scary, and shady

Ro starts feeling excruciating abdominal pain
and discovers Roman and Steven Marcato are both the same

who’s Marcato? He’s the son of a Satan worshipper
so now Ro know’s Roman’s been nothing but a bullshitter

she brings her revelation up with Guy who thinks she’s gone insane
so she walks into traffic and throws the pendant down the drain

then she calls Doc Hill for help but he thinks she’s insane, as well
when she says Doc Sapirstein is a descendant straight from Hell

Hill secretly calls Sapirstein & Guy who come to collect Ro
she escapes and runs home but the witches just walk through the locked door (D’OH!)

Ro goes into labor, Doc Sapirstein sedates her,
Ro wakes up, Doc makes up the baby died, but later

Ro discovers the closet that the secretary once blocked
was a passageway to Roman and Minnie’s place and she was shocked

to find a room of witches round the crib of a baby with rabies
who actually is Rosemary’s Baby, gross scary and shady.

Rosemary’s baby is gross, scary, and shady
Rosemary’s baby is gross, scary, and shady
Track Name: Surfin' the Information Superhighway
in 1993, my dad bought a Tandy
installed Prodigy, KPGP

42D was me, for a nominal fee
could surf the information superhighway hourly

the one and only online service families could afford
I would often cruise the Connecticut bulletin board

started chatting with a girl who said her name was Jess
she said she had fresh 13 year old breasts

she told me her measurements and her home address
then sent me a jpeg of herself undressed

waited 30 minutes for the image to load
she appeared much older than a 13 year old

almost asked for credentials but did not wanna push
I mean, how many pre-teens have a big 80s bush?

but my skepticism ceased when she said, “goddamn,
get your heiny to my house imma make you a man

surfin’ the information superhighway

hopped on my Huffy, rode as fast as I could
but it's impossible to pedal when you're packing wood

I couldn't wait for Jess to make my wood feel good
her house wasn't in a very good neighborhood

I wondered if Jess could be my long lost Lynn
I knocked on the door and heard, "come on in!"

I walked through the door, palms dripping with sweat
my heart was beating for this busty adolescent brunette

when out of nowhere ran a man in his tighty whities
he was sweaty and heavy with hair like Ron Jeremy’s

he came running after me holding a greased up zucchini
it appeared this tubby trickster was trying to screw me, see

Jess was entirely nothing but a ploy
for a 40 something freak to fuck an underage boy

I hightailed it to my Huffy said, “I'm outta here peace!”
got home and promptly notified the cyber police
Track Name: Hoarder House
I had a paper route when I was a lad
when Michael Jackson was Bad
and Tom Bosley was Glad

it was my brother’s route, had to fill his shoes
he was busy binge watching New Zoo Revue

so I flew, down the street on a banana seat Huffy bike
threw papers with all my might, to be more like Mike

but I was more a Mike & Ike liking punk pre-teen
reading MAD Magazine, watching Teen Steam

the Alyssa Milano, workout video
did I give a shit that it was gender specific? no!

anyway, on the route one day
I made it to the last house on the route, some say

is haunted, but it's just the home of a lone hermit
Old Man Movahill, who hoarded shit with no permit

piled around the property, to the neighbor’s dismay
rusty junk on display, he never threw shit away

HOARDER HOUSE!
some people like to think that it’s a
HAUNTED HOUSE!
but really it is merely just a….

okay, lou and I called up JJ
to see if he could play, in our neighborhood (YAY!)
we wanted to watch T2: Judgement Day
but mom said it was a nice day, go out and play

but butt’s up got boring, so like retards
we said , “let’s play in Old Man Movahill’s back yard!”

we waded through the knee high grass passed the jagged tree
into a yard full of broken down and damaged debris

an old pool full of rainwater and alligators
behind it his collection of antique refrigerators

stacked milk crates full of cable boxes from Cox
a ‘58 Ford Edsel propped up on cinder blocks

dried out fire hazard Christmas trees from holidays passed
weed wackers and lawnmowers hidden in the knee high grass

rusty furnaces beneath a mound of dead Vespa scooters
rows of toilet bowls and piles of obsolete computers

HOARDER HOUSE!
some people like to think that it’s a
HAUNTED HOUSE!
but really it is merely just a….

Lou took a sledgehammer he found behind the shed and Nir-
vana played on a sony CFS in the neighbor’s

yard he hit hard, every last Hummel figurine
they weren’t worth a hill of beans, smashed them all to smithereens

on a mountain of moldy magazines we decided
to play hide and seek and I was delighted

to find a hiding spot behind a wall of console tvs
it was pretty obvious and JJ found me with ease

but he didn't find lou who was hidden quite good
in one of those antique fridges, so we probably should

have looked harder but we got bored, gave up and ran on home
when they found Lou one year later there was nothing but bones

Old Man Movahill was soon arrested, sent off to jail
charged him with child endangerment and gave him the chair

it was my mother's fault, lou would never have died
if she let us watch T2 instead of making us play outside
Track Name: Mom of the Year
Moooooooooooooooooom of the yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear!

Shaquan Duly drove her kids to the lake
strapped them in their car seats and released the brake
said i’m sending you to Disney Woild, you better behave
instead they ended up in a watery grave

Lyn Balfour left the car in the summer heat
forgetting baby Bryce in his baby seat
Lyn returned to the car in complete disbelief
Baby Bryce had become an oven baked roast beef

Brenda Drayton took a gun from the shelf
assuming her son was the spawn of satan himself
she told him, “close your eyes, mommy’s got a surprise.”
not knowing his surprise would be his own demise.

Megan Huntsman suffocated six of her own
stuffed them in shoeboxes and hid them in her home
when her husband went to try on his new shoes
instead of shoes the box was full of fermented ooze

Moooooooooooooooooom of the yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear!

China Arnold, such a sickening sinner
microwaved her daughter like a Hungry Man dinner
her baby exploded like a scene out of Gremlins
had her boyfriend clean the mess with baking soda and lemons

Jeanette Hawes took her kids to 711
bought them all Slurpees and the kids were in heaven (oh, thank heaven!)
bought herself a Big Bite in a buttery bun
then took the kids to the john and stabbed them one by one

Debra Jenner Tyler had no affinity
for her daughter whom apparently was quite finicky
with a metal toy airplane stabbed her 70 times
claimed being overworked caused her to commit the crimes

Deena Schlossser took out a knife
cut her daughter’s arms off, taking her life
dismembering your child is completely egregious
when the cops caught her she was singing to Jesus (Lord Jesus!)

Moooooooooooooooooom of the yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear!