Long ago some now-deceased priests published a thesis
about a gentile Jewish genius named Jesus
The story starts with Mary of Galilee who is a virgin
but little does she know a baby soon will be emergin’
from her lady bits, “Maybe it’s immaculate conception!”
Joseph said with dread as he said goodbye to his erection
for eternity, nativity, that’s Jesus’ birth
a day that should be celebrated with merriment and mirth
but no room at the inn, in Mary’s womb - future king
of the Jews, he pursues the profession of a tekton
that’s Greek for “carpenter”, just in case you that weren’t sure
and at 12 he said “bon jour” to his folks and went on tour
at 30 he met John the Baptist who exclaimed, “holy crap this
is not another facade this here is the Son Of God!”
Jesus said, “I’d love to stay but I’m afraid I’ve set my sights
on the Judean to fast for 40 days and 40 nights.”

Jesus is just alright with me
Jesus is just alright oh yeah

In the desert while Jesus was deep in meditation
the Devil went down to Judean to give him three temptations
Jesus didn’t buy his bullshit told the Devil to flea
then he returned to Galilee to start up his ministry
he started showing off the many tricks of the divine
when at a wedding turned some water into wondrous wine
then people started really following him around
after he healed some lepers and said something profound
then on the Sermon on the Mount he taught the people to love
and preached about the kingdom of the Big Homie from above
the Pharisees accused him of having Satanic powers
when in reality more like a hippie handing out flowers
there was concern but Jesus reassured that he’d be okay
promised if he was killed he’d rise from the dead on the third day
one week later on a mountain his face began to shine
Elijah and Moses declared him officially divine

Jesus is just alright with me
Jesus is just alright oh yeah

On a donkey Jesus rode into Jerusalem
the Pharisees were certainly not happy to see him
they decided to arrest him and throw his ass in jail
then his disciple Judas committed an epic FAIL
for 30 pieces of gold, Judas sold Jesus out
loyalty’s what he did not seem to give two shits about
then at dinner told his disciples he was basically screwed
turned his blood into a beverage and his body into food
then they went into the Garden of Gethsemane to pray
but then soldiers showed up and took our hero away
to the high priest, who was a beast, beat Jesus’ hide
and Judas couldn’t take the heat and committed suicide
Jesus was dragged to the Roman governor Pontius Pilate
who condemned him to death, his maker soon to be met
crown of thorns, speared side, nailed cross, crucified
but joke’s on them he rose from death a few days after he died

Jesus is just alright with me
Jesus is just alright oh yeah

Jesus, he's my friend
(Thank you for being a friend)
Jesus, he's my friend
(You're a friend of mine)

OH YEAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!