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The Mysterious Stranger

by MC Breath

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1.
Bouillabaisse (free) 02:14
I’d like to tell you all about a little fish stew your grandmother may or may have not made for you Is it hella good? Holy cow, honey, hell yes a delight to digest, it’s Bouillabaisse!! a Provencal stew from the city Marsielle in gay Paris you may see it as the “soup of the day” once a fisherman’s stew made of the morning’s catch down the hatch goes a batch of a broth made from scratch Use a fair amount of fish, be it salmon or sole be sure to serve the fish and broth in separately bowls that’s the Marsielle way, baby, better get in a boat better catch fish and make a dish soothing to the throat Don’t quote me on this, but this dish may consist of more fish than fish filmed in the film The Abyss fuck this, need a break, too hungry, can’t take it but first I'll finish up the verse and tell you how to make it First find yourself a fairly large pot then you add a bunch of water and the fish you caught like Baryshnikov, you should dance around the kitchen just be careful ‘round the burners I don’t wanna hear your bitchin and it’s certainly bewitching boiling up a stock add onions, olive oil, and be sure that it’s chock full of fishbones, you’ll jonze while the soups cookin give the fishheads a kiss, tell ‘em “hey good lookin’” Now add your herbs; basil and orange peel bet your butt you add halibut before you add eel Like Shaquile O’neil this meal’s a slam dunk puts hair on your chest and maybe junk in your trunk add a chunk of monkfish for an English twist it's a dish that is too darn delish to resist I insist you respond my simple request be my guest and ingest a bowl of my Bouilabaisse!!!
2.
The Shining (free) 04:29
Jack Torrence gets a job that he thinks looks pretty swell it’s as the Winter caretaker for the Overlook Hotel The manager tells Jack the last caretaker killed his wife and his two daughters with an axe before he took his own life Jack isn’t superstitious so he doesn’t give a shit just packs his things and takes his kin up to the snowy Rocky Mountains The hotel is built above an Indian Burial ground Not necessarily the type of place you’d want to be snowbound Jack’s wife Wendy is quite friendly and supports Jack at first Unaware of the hotel’s curse and Jack’s forthcoming blood thirst Their son Danny has ESP and a friend inside his face named Tony who tells Danny stay far the fuck away from that place But Jack thinks it will be a good place to work on his writing Then Danny starts having mostly frightening ghostly sightings of the two creepy daughters that were murdered long ago the elevator opens and the blood doth flow The Overlook has a cook named Dick who acts downright daffy when he asks Danny if he’d like ice cream using telepathy Dick delivers the message with impeccable timing But Danny is a bit disturbed Dick discovers his Shining He then tells Danny the Overlook itself had a shine but if he stays away from Room 237 then he’ll be fine But Danny doesn’t listen and on his Big Wheels he cruises past the open door, goes inside, and comes out covered in bruises so Jack goes to the room to find out who attacked his son out from the tub walks a naked woman and they starts touching tongues then he looks in the mirror as they’re just about the shag sees the naked woman turn into a decomposing old hag Then Jack runs to the bar and meets the ghost bartender Lloyd and tells him how lately Wendy’s been making him tense and annoyed then in the john Jack meets the ex caretaker Delbert Grady who tells him that he must “correct” his son and his old lady Danny begins to sense the danger that is to come and he gets into a trance and then he chants “RED RUM” Then Wendy starts to feel like Jack's become a real killjoy when she stumbles upon “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” written over and over again from Jack’s typewriter Jack catches Wendy and gets angry then he tries to fight her But Wendy swings a baseball bat and Jack falls down the stairs Then drags his body to the pantry, locks the door, and says her prayers She runs to the two way radio and discovers it’s destroyed While that schizoid Jack gets annoyed back at the pantry getting toyed by Delbert Grady once again who then unlocks the pantry door and with a hankering for gore, Jack goes off to settle the score To escape Danny jumps from the bathroom window to the ground But Wendy’s trapped and with an ax Jack attempts to chop the door down Then he decides to go and chase Danny through the hedge maze instead but he catch catch him and collapses in the snow and now he’s dead or is he?
3.
Superbar (free) 03:30
Back in the late 80's Dave Thomas told us Wendy's had "the best burgers in the biz" but that wasn't enough apparently he felt that we should have more of a plentiful selection of exotic ethnic dishes for us to stuff into our mouths not talkin' Houses of Pancake mistakes not talkin' handfuls of fries at Five Guys 'til we get the shakes I'm talkin' W-E-N-D-Y apostrophe S I'm talkin' Superbar Buffet, ho-may, "best in the business" I'm talkin' UGH stuff my stomach 'til it practically pops I'm talkin' UGH refill my tray all day 'til they call the cops to kick me out thinkin' about taking your family out? The Superbar's by far the best bargain in town, no doubt, so... Welcome to McDonald's may I take your order? No you may not and I ain't runnin' for no border YOU can have it your way right away but I'll take the Wendy's Superbar Buffet After I pay for my Wendy's Superbar Buffet I yell "HIP HIP HOORAY!" when they hand me my tray. I pile my plate high with everything great my insatiable appetite's bout to be satisfied. I can't wait to eat my plate of pasta prima vera that's noodles with salad bar veggies mixed with marinara I'll have pizza with premade dough and rotini alfredo such authentic cuisines seems like we're back in Palermo garlic bread's bellissimo, can't just have-a one piece, no only thing missing from this meal is a Cianti vino you know what I mean, though, Superbar's not just green veggies for salad it's a valid buff, a hungry man's dream, so... Welcome to McDonald's may I take your order? No you may not and I ain't runnin' for no border YOU can have it your way right away but I'll take the Wendy's Superbar Buffet Over your good clothes is where a smock goes when you eat the tacos not much of a shock those refried bean burritos are filled with grilled meat bros and sisters you'll get blisters from the heat of the nachos then I chose a Mello Yello drink from the well, yo now untuck your shirt, time for dessert, not just talkin' Jello I'm talkin' chocolate pudding! I wish that I could bring the Superbar back home with me, gee, that would be a good thing. Welcome to McDonald's may I take your order? No you may not and I ain't runnin' for no border YOU can have it your way right away but I'll take the Wendy's Superbar Buffet
4.
Ozone (free) 01:34
5.
Job Interview (free) 03:14
Please, Tell me a bit about yourself, if you will? Have no experience or willingness to work or any skill Where do you see yourself in five years? cold, broke, hungry, alone with no career Can you tell me why are you leaving your present position? Can you tell me what the hell this is the fucking inquisition? Can you describe a time when your work was criticized? When I stole so many office supplies a company had to downsize Tell me something about your last job that you really loathed? Having to show up on time, well-behaved, shaved, bathed and clothed What was the last project you headed up, and what was its outcome? talking the platinum blonde buxom temp into a threesome What can you do for us that would outshine the other candidates I’ll supply the office parties with the finest dankest cannibas Tell me why are you interested in working for our company? I’d rather have a cancerous inopperable malignant lump in me During the interview had no clue what was going through my brain for every question given I was livin' on another plane see pre-interview made the snafu of knocking back a few too many cans of carbonated radioactive yellow goo!! Had too much Mountain Dew before my job interview knew I was screwed when I had to spew half way through What would be your ideal work environment? 40 hours spent consuming numerous intoxicants Have you been on a team where somebody was not pulling their weight? Typically I am that somebody so, yes, I can relate Do you think big picture or are you more detail oriented? I think like Richard Farley but just a hair more demented On the job what motivates you to do your very best? Motivation breeds success but for me just leads to stress Can you give an example of your proudest achievement Lying that my wife died to take time off for bereavement How would our team benefit from your knowledge and expertise? (ugh) Listen, Big Cheese, tell the other interviewees who think that they are the bee’s knees, with their liberal arts degrees that you sent the job overseas or that there’s a hiring freeze suggest they call temp agencies can’t you see I’m down on my knees make me one of your employees hear my pleas and hire me, please!!!!! During the interview had no clue what was going through my brain for every question given I was livin' on another plane see pre-interview made the snafu of knocking back a few too many cans of carbonated radioactive yellow goo!! Had too much Mountain Dew before my job interview knew I was screwed when I had to spew half way through
6.
Crazy Motherfuckers (free) 02:54
crazy motherfuckers listening to seal crazy motherfuckers watching ally mcbeal crazy motherfuckers on deal a meal crazy motherfuckers like ron popiel crazy motherfuckers on a crazy train crazy motherfuckers like herman cain crazy motherfuckers leaving cake in the rain crazy motherfuckers eating shrimp chow mein crazy motherfuckers with a piece of flare crazy motherfuckers in the naughty chair crazy motherfuckers playing dragon’s lair crazy motherfuckers watching double dare crazy motherfuckers drooling on their bibs crazy motherfuckers crawling in their cribs crazy motherfuckers filling out mad libs crazy motherfuckers munching on mc ribs crazy motherfuckers in al capones vaults crazy motherfuckers like eric stoltz crazy motherfuckers high on bath salts crazy motherfuckers drinking chocolate malts crazy motherfuckers like Mr. Spock crazy motherfuckers like Willie Talk crazy motherfuckers who shot Tupac crazy motherfuckers watching Hudson Hawk crazy motherfuckers eating cornbeef hash crazy motherfuckers like like Clinger from MASH crazy motherfuckers like the Evil Dead’s Ash crazy motherfuckers with a milk mustache crazy motherfuckers wearing Umbros crazy motherfuckers broke Geraldo’s nose crazy motherfuckers shopping at Lowes cause the mom n pop hardware stores all closed crazy motherfuckers celebrating lent crazy motherfuckers like 50 cent crazy motherfuckers in the musical Rent crazy motherfuckers with a trouser tent crazy motherfuckers snacking on S’mores crazy motherfuckers watching Star Wars crazy motherfuckers on the Welsh moors crazy motherfuckers leading Duck Tours crazy motherfuckers sipping Perrier crazy motherfuckers selling Mary Kay crazy motherfuckers at the Cirque de Soliel crazy motherfuckers with a purple toupee crazy motherfuckers with a Netflix queue crazy motherfuckers streaming Teen Wolf Too crazy motherfuckers like Gerard Depardieu crazy motherfuckers just like you!
7.
Onions (free) 01:13
8.
Nude Beach (free) 03:39
My girlfriend Jude said “dude, I can’t take it anymore can’t spend another gorgeous day indoors, let’s go to the shore. so bring your bathers, bag of bagels, and a beach ball, too for me and you are headed to the beautiful briny blue We packed up the car and headed far to the seaside a gorgeous day to catch some rays beside the ocean tide lathered sun screen, explored marine life and was feelin’ alright but by the dock, we stood in shock from such a disturbing sight We had no clue the beach we went to was clothing optional some weirdo with a wiener like a frozen popsickle came up to Jude and said “you’d better shed all your layers” I said, “the only way you’re getting Jude nude is if you pay her.” as he was reaching in his fanny pack for a buck to pay up walked some fruit wearing the suit he got on his birthday he said “without a doubt you both stand out much like two sore thumbs and I guarantee you’ll feel more free once you bare your bums.” We had to clue we were going to a nude beach saw a dude’s pubes and huge droopy boobies the whole crew knew we were two prude noobies We had no clue we were going to a nude beach I said “I am sorry, sir, but we prefer wearing our pride and our dignity, for I can see, should not be denied we have a lot of shame, we shall remain completely concealed we’re not misfits so our naughty bits will not be revealed we have self respect so we reject your nudist lifestyle your love of nudity, to jude and me, is vulgar and vile you hippie pervs get on our nerves flaunting your plump naked rumps we’re completely sketched, before we wretch we’re leaving this dump” The fruit looked at me so full of glee after my lament I was a bit bemused and quite confused by his amusement as I looked to my dear it became clear what fruit found absurd my lovely Jude, no longer prude, stark naked as a jaybird I said “Hon’, what have you done? I am stunned and speechless I’m so embarrassed you undressed and exposed your bare breasts Jude said “ I felt at home so when in Rome do what Romans do” I said, “if Romans were roamin’ off a cliff would you roam too?” We had to clue we were going to a nude beach saw a dude’s pubes and huge droopy boobies the whole crew knew we were two prude noobies We had no clue we were going to a nude beach some freak who used to streak in 1976 told us he loves the beach for all the peachy bottomed hot chicks said “are you blind, cause I can’t find a broad under 58 only hairy beasts ready to feast with their apelike dates only moocows with uni-brows, monstrous misshapen mutants whose BO releases Ozone depleting poluntants bulbous breasts I wouldn’t touch ‘less I had on rubber gloves unique races born with faces only mothers can love Jude said “I’ve had enough, you think you’re tough but you’re just uptight I won’t let you offend my brand new friends, this calls for a fight there’s nothing wrong with naked dongs flapping around in the breeze there’s nothing fina than exposed vagina by the palm trees therefore I’m leaving you, I’ll rendezvous with my new friend “freak” his name is Harry and we’ll marry later on in the week you had your chance to drop your pants and let your balls breath the air instead you chose to keep your clothes on like a self righteous square We had to clue we were going to a nude beach saw a dude’s pubes and huge droopy boobies the whole crew knew we were two prude noobies We had no clue we were going to a nude beach
9.
Bed Bugs (free) 04:07
My girlfriend Jude dumped me and moved out why I’m not sure she took the dog, the goddamn dishes and all the furniture now I’m sittin’ in the kitchen without a pot to piss in thinkin’ about Jude’s vagina, only thing that I’m missin’ I’m also missin’ money since Jude was the bread winner I’ve been relying on ramen noodles every night for dinner not one good meal since our domestic problems were first arising been so long that each day the dog food’s looking more appetizing I’ve been sleeping on the hard wood floor instead of a bed Using an old sweatshirt rolled up as a pillow for my head been Laying out yesterday’s newspaper sections as bed sheets Thinking “where will I find a bed for free?” the answer: the streets On garbage day I went up and down every last alleyway looking for any mattress not stained and rotting with decay finally found one, dragged it home to once again feel well-rested how I was I to know this slightly worn mattress was infested ….with Bed Bugs! Bed Bugs! There'll be no sleep today! Was not aware of the severity of the situation until I woke up to find prominent skin manifestations itchy blisters from my whiskers down to my tippy-toes what I did to deserve this discomfort god only knows bloodsucking freaks between the sheets from that old mattress I found Should have kept that cursid unkempt cushion there on the ground I ignored the stain from some strange undetectable source my act of “urban forage” has become “recycler’s remorse” I regret the day I liberated this begrimed bed I was desperate for a place to rest my slumbersome head got a dreadful bed infested with nests of mites instead I won’t rest until these festering bed bugs are all dead I’ll need germ warfare to displace these distasteful invaders but there is no way that I can pay for exterminators I got no dough to control this parasitic fiasco so look out below I’m launching this mattress out the window Bed Bugs! Bed Bugs! There'll be no sleep today! Now I’m back to my uncomfortable sleep accommodations I’m so paranoid of parasitic re-infestation i would rather fall asleep and get hacked to bits by Freddy so i’m tossing Diatomaceous Earth around like confetti It’s so depressing to be right back in the rut where I started After Jude gave me major tude and left me l broken hearted Feeling lonely in the kitchen, looking back reminiscing It’s actually not Jude I long for it’s the bugs that I’m missing besides the health hazards those bug bastards kept me company when I was lonely they were snug as bugs in a rug with me unlike women I could depend on them always being ‘round despite the bites those loyal mites had never once let me down Went on a mission for a mattress that’s completely unclean to find the most obscenely squalid mattress I’d ever seen found a particularly putrid one, took it to the crib waited for the bugs to come crawling back, but they never did Bed Bugs! Bed Bugs! There'll be no sleep today!
10.
+@k3 @ $h!+ (free) 01:12
11.
Lottery (free) 02:54
My girlfriend Jude left me without a dollar to my name She left me without anything except disappointment and pain As I walk down the street contemplating my pathetic existence a lottery ticket blew in my direction from a distance and I watched in awe as the ticket fell right before my feet picked up the ticket and continued my lonely stroll down the street walked into a nearby bar and a lady on the tv screen was calling out the number printed on my ticket, then I screamed Holy Shit! I won the fucking Lottery! the bartender handed me a stiff drink to calm me down holding my ticket tight ordered every one at the bar a round around this time I started spacing out, the drunks looked at me funny as I began fantasizing about how I’ll spend the money Thought of things I can afford now that I am no longer poor such as actual name-brand items at the high end health food store I can pay off my credit card, my car, and crippling student loan live in a castle with a throne and an alpaca of my own Holy Shit! I won the fucking Lottery! then I suddenly began feeling absolutely guilty thinking about starving children living in total poverty thinking about the war torn homes of the world’s poorest familes thinking about people living on the streets dying of disease as I expressed my guilt to anyone who’d listen at the bar on the tv was a commercial for a chic luxury car which reminded me my ticket and my miraculous win I paid the tab, and left the bar, and rushed to cash that fucker in Holy Shit! I won the fucking Lottery!
12.
Jesus (free) 04:53
Long ago some now-deceased priests published a thesis about a gentile Jewish genius named Jesus The story starts with Mary of Galilee who is a virgin but little does she know a baby soon will be emergin’ from her lady bits, “Maybe it’s immaculate conception!” Joseph said with dread as he said goodbye to his erection for eternity, nativity, that’s Jesus’ birth a day that should be celebrated with merriment and mirth but no room at the inn, in Mary’s womb - future king of the Jews, he pursues the profession of a tekton that’s Greek for “carpenter”, just in case you that weren’t sure and at 12 he said “bon jour” to his folks and went on tour at 30 he met John the Baptist who exclaimed, “holy crap this is not another facade this here is the Son Of God!” Jesus said, “I’d love to stay but I’m afraid I’ve set my sights on the Judean to fast for 40 days and 40 nights.” Jesus is just alright with me Jesus is just alright oh yeah In the desert while Jesus was deep in meditation the Devil went down to Judean to give him three temptations Jesus didn’t buy his bullshit told the Devil to flea then he returned to Galilee to start up his ministry he started showing off the many tricks of the divine when at a wedding turned some water into wondrous wine then people started really following him around after he healed some lepers and said something profound then on the Sermon on the Mount he taught the people to love and preached about the kingdom of the Big Homie from above the Pharisees accused him of having Satanic powers when in reality more like a hippie handing out flowers there was concern but Jesus reassured that he’d be okay promised if he was killed he’d rise from the dead on the third day one week later on a mountain his face began to shine Elijah and Moses declared him officially divine Jesus is just alright with me Jesus is just alright oh yeah On a donkey Jesus rode into Jerusalem the Pharisees were certainly not happy to see him they decided to arrest him and throw his ass in jail then his disciple Judas committed an epic FAIL for 30 pieces of gold, Judas sold Jesus out loyalty’s what he did not seem to give two shits about then at dinner told his disciples he was basically screwed turned his blood into a beverage and his body into food then they went into the Garden of Gethsemane to pray but then soldiers showed up and took our hero away to the high priest, who was a beast, beat Jesus’ hide and Judas couldn’t take the heat and committed suicide Jesus was dragged to the Roman governor Pontius Pilate who condemned him to death, his maker soon to be met crown of thorns, speared side, nailed cross, crucified but joke’s on them he rose from death a few days after he died Jesus is just alright with me Jesus is just alright oh yeah Jesus, he's my friend (Thank you for being a friend) Jesus, he's my friend (You're a friend of mine) OH YEAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

about

Welcome to The Mysterious Stranger!!

The album took over a year to write and record in my smelly bedroom from roughly October 31, 2011 to December 31, 2012 while my kid was asleep.

Thanks to all the amazing musicians I borrowed small portions of their music from in order to compile my ridiculous songs.

Hope you enjoy it!

credits

released January 5, 2013

Written & Recorded by MC Breath
using Ableton Live, Audio Hijack Pro, Sound Studio, and a Shure SM58.

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MC Breath Providence, Rhode Island

15 MC Breath Fans Can't Be Wrong!

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